While reading Kim Scottâs book Radical Candor: Fully Revised & Updated Edition: Be a Kick-Ass Boss Without Losing Your Humanity, I came across an anecdote from a discussion she had with Dick Costolo.
One of my favorite stories about Dick and diversity was his effort to eliminate the phrase âyou guysâ from his vocabulary. I told him a story about my twinsâone a boy and one a girlâwho were in kindergarten. Both of their teachers were speculating why boys raise their hands more often than girls. Then I attended a class and heard the questions: âOK, you guys, who knows what four plus one is?â No wonder the girls werenât raising their hands! Children are literal, and girls are not guys. I told Dick that story, and confessed that Iâm literal too and feel annoyed whenever somebody addresses a mixed group as âguys,â or âyou guys.â Most people look crossways at me when I launch into my âyou guysâ diatribe, but Dick smacked his forehead. âOf course! Thereâs nothing worse than being invisible. I canât believe I never thought of that! Thereâs no worse way to make a group of people feel excluded than to use language that pretends they are simply not in the room.â
âYes, like Invisible Man,â I said. Dick and I had recently discussed Ralph Ellisonâs novel about an African-American man whose color renders him invisible.
âYes, exactly! OK, youâve convinced me. Iâm going to start saying you all!â Dick said.
Iâm from Texas, so I generally try to say âyâallâ instead of âyou allâ, but I realize that periodically Iâll slip and say âyou guys.â Going forward, Iâm going to try to reprogram my brain to get rid of âyou guysâ from my vocabulary. If you catch me saying it, call me on it.